The Cross

What a week. So happy and so sad in so many ways. And so moving!
Another terrible event in a different loved one's life happened this week, and it devastated me more than I expected it would.  I was so creeped out and heartbroken that I didn't even want to come home for the night because I knew that I would just sit awake in bed trying  unsuccessfully to keep myself from thinking so deeply about it.

This week I've learned how easy it is to turn from God in the hard times, and how important it is to run faster towards him.  Today, however, I was convicted on another level.

Today I was reflecting on how thankful I am that my mentality is slowly seeming to get better, regarding the new tragedy with a friend.  I was glad the nightmares had stopped and I was putting my faith in God to piece the brokenness back together.  I also realized that tomorrow is Good Friday, the day on which Jesus Christ was crucified.  Suddenly I saw what God had been trying to teach me all week, and his timing is no mistake.  Maybe he had to do it in such an attention-grabbing way, because in my previous 19 years I never seemed to care.  I can explain Christ's crucifixion to someone in a clear sentence without even blinking, but when telling my friends to pray about what had been happening in my personal life, I would get choked up and have to search for the words.  While it was so easy for me to tear up in chem lecture or flinch when certain words came up in conversation this week, I have never felt truly heartbroken about Jesus dying on the cross. So maybe I did need as dramatic of a lesson as I received this week.

However, the best part of both stories is the miraculous life at the end.  Neither situations should have yielded life, but God provided miracles in each case.  Jesus rose from the dead three days later, and this year I am going to reflect on that and rejoice in that as much as I did with my personal story. I now again am amazed in the way God works, and his perfect way of planning out every day of my life. I am so much more at peace than I have been all week! Happy Easter, friends, and may the crucificion and resurrection also bear heavy on your heart this year!

love,
p.b.

Excuse My Nostalgia.

One of my favorite procrastination tools involves looking through all the old pictures on my computer and taking myself back to my senior year, one of the most pivotal times of my life. The second half of that year, I found friends that became my family (cliche and mushy, this post is full of it. Sorry. Not sorry.) I had known some of them throughout high school, but during this year, we all kind of came from our different groups and began hanging out every day until we realized how weird and fun and similar we all were. The boys became my brothers, and I loved having boys to go to for anything, literally. We called them just to go grocery shopping with us, we'd help them pick out clothes at the mall, we went to waffle house at 2 am, we laughed until we cried, we went running every night, and we had deep talks. This year, I have realized how lucky I am to have had this group of friends and the most perfect summer I could have asked for.  While I've always been jealous of people who have kept friends from their childhood, I have had so many people tell me how jealous they are of our tight-knit, psycho group. And I couldn't be happier.

One of the few things holding me back from deciding to go on my 8-week Summer Project  to Santa Monica this summer was this group.  I know that we would all go out again every single night and do all of our favorite, weird things, and after being the only one away at school this whole year, I didn't want to be the awkward one missing out on everything again while everyone else just grew closer.  But God has shown that he has different plans.  Erik is actually spending May in Uganda on a mission trip, so keep him in your prayers! Gookin is preparing to join me at UA next year :) :) :) :) Caleb is coming home from his job training in Virginia for the Marines, Jaclyn is graduating, Kira is payin' the bills, and Lucas... who knows ;) I am looking forward to treasuring the month I have with them before I do actually leave, and the short time after, before we all start our separate lives again.

So basically, this lil post is just to introduce you to some of the most important people in my life. Here's some vids I found on my computer a few days ago that never cease to make me lol.. a lot.

p.s... not sure why we take videos EVERYTIME we hang out, but I sure hope we don't stop. Wigs, you guys <3

love, p.b.