Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Cross

What a week. So happy and so sad in so many ways. And so moving!
Another terrible event in a different loved one's life happened this week, and it devastated me more than I expected it would.  I was so creeped out and heartbroken that I didn't even want to come home for the night because I knew that I would just sit awake in bed trying  unsuccessfully to keep myself from thinking so deeply about it.

This week I've learned how easy it is to turn from God in the hard times, and how important it is to run faster towards him.  Today, however, I was convicted on another level.

Today I was reflecting on how thankful I am that my mentality is slowly seeming to get better, regarding the new tragedy with a friend.  I was glad the nightmares had stopped and I was putting my faith in God to piece the brokenness back together.  I also realized that tomorrow is Good Friday, the day on which Jesus Christ was crucified.  Suddenly I saw what God had been trying to teach me all week, and his timing is no mistake.  Maybe he had to do it in such an attention-grabbing way, because in my previous 19 years I never seemed to care.  I can explain Christ's crucifixion to someone in a clear sentence without even blinking, but when telling my friends to pray about what had been happening in my personal life, I would get choked up and have to search for the words.  While it was so easy for me to tear up in chem lecture or flinch when certain words came up in conversation this week, I have never felt truly heartbroken about Jesus dying on the cross. So maybe I did need as dramatic of a lesson as I received this week.

However, the best part of both stories is the miraculous life at the end.  Neither situations should have yielded life, but God provided miracles in each case.  Jesus rose from the dead three days later, and this year I am going to reflect on that and rejoice in that as much as I did with my personal story. I now again am amazed in the way God works, and his perfect way of planning out every day of my life. I am so much more at peace than I have been all week! Happy Easter, friends, and may the crucificion and resurrection also bear heavy on your heart this year!


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